Movies are moving...when the producers get it right!

Movie: Forrest Gump (1994)
Scene: In a sequence set around 1970, someone is shown reading a copy of USA Today.
Blooper: The newspaper wasn’t created until 1982

Movie: Camelot (1967)
Scene: King Arthur (Richard Harris) expounds on the joys of his mythical kingdom.
Blooper: The 6th century king has a 20th-century Band-Aid on the back of his neck.

Movie: Wild Wild West (1999)
Scene: After thwarting the plans of the evil Loveless (Kenneth Branagh), Jim West (Will Smith) and Artemus Gordon (Kevin Kline) ride off into the sunset heading back to Washington, D. C.
Blooper: A romantic notion, but impossible: Washington is in the east and the sun sets in the west.

From Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 14th Edition

HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER:
Humpty, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times not
to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER:
Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have
any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER:
All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside
your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!

CUSTER’S MOTHER:
Now, George, remember what I told you—don’t go biting off
more than you can chew!

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER:
Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t you just wear a baseball
cap like the other kids?

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER:
But, Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something
about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER:
The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you
can kiss your allowance good-bye!

JONAH’S MOTHER:
That’s a nice story, but now tell me where you’ve really been
for the last three days.

SUPERMAN’S MOTHER:
Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we’ve decided
you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending
so much time in all those phone booths?

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER:
Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb,
Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!

from Parenting Funnies
Submitted by MemLok

You may be older… but are you wiser?

Now that I’m ‘older’ (but refuse to grow up), here’s what I’ve discovered:

1.  I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2.  My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

3.  I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart..

4.  Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded....

4.  Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded....

5.  All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

6.  If all is not lost, where is it?

7.  It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8.  Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

9.  I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few…

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

15. When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

16. It’s not hard to meet expenses.... they’re everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter..... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m here after.

19. I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE POSTED THIS TO TELEJOKE.COM OR NOT!

20. Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded....

"God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”

Let’s hope the Lord honors this one!—Editors